October 17 2024
Today is the first day of me trying to write long form. It feels very uncomfortable, but reading all these books with beautiful writing has given me an itch to do more than just read. I want to be able to express myself like that too! Primarily, I want to convey my ideas through text while taking organization delivery and wordiness in consideration. I'm already noticing that it's a bit difficult. With that I've noticed two things I should practice; first I need to get comfortable writing. Once I am more comfortable with letting my fingers speak, I can move on to editing. While I think that editing is the more valuable skill that will let me understand how I write and my tendencies, how can I edit without any writings? Ergo write now edit later.
It's not just that reading other peoples' work has made me want to write more. It's also I feel that I am not using my free time correctly. I find myself watching YouTube videos all the time, and I have so so many thoughts about the format, organization, speaking cadence, you name about these pieces, but I just let those thoughts fly away! I want to capture some of them and be able to build upon the ideas I find myself with day after day. This'll definitely cause the way I think to change, which is a little scary, but I'm always down for some spice. Keeping track of my thoughts will give me thinking patterns I've formed, and understand my own mind on a critical level.
Writing will additionally allow me to create more. I've been feeling so paralyzed with my relationship with consumption and creation recently. Specifically social media. I feel that I consume so much, whether it be YouTube, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, Beli, Spotify, Venmo, you name it while being nearly completely a ghost on all of these platforms. However, during the spurts of creation that I have had, I felt that how I approached social media changed drastically. I felt so much more satisfied with spending my time on the apps. I felt connected with those who looked at my posts and interacted with them. I felt happy showing the world what I was doing every day! Maybe it was all a placebo, because I've thought and talked to great depths on this topic to the point that I've convinced myself that consuming bad creating good. Even so, those times I produced I felt that I consumed so much, which I chalked up to the nature of these apps and how they are designed to addict you and keep you scrolling. So here is the crux of the issue: Posting brings me something good, but everything but the posting makes me feel not good. My resolution has been to try my darndest to stay off all social media so I can't consume at all (to little effect). But now I can't post at all! So I'm a single pringle (social media-less) who's ready to mingle (post and interact with others) in new ways (not these god forsaken apps).Maybe writing will be my solution! We'll have to wait and see :)
-Nick